A friend suggested I watch the films of Krzysztof Kieslowski. She specifically recommended “The Double Life of Veronique.” As a thoughtful gesture, she bought the movie “Blue” for me by the same director when she couldn’t find the first.

I wanted to love this movie as she seemed happy about introducing me to this director and after all, bought me the DVD as a gift. I have to report that not only did I not like this film, I hated it. It’s pretentious, self-indulgent, European cinema and worst of all, painfully boring. I highly recommend it to insomniacs as a magic cure. This movie would put Ambien out of business if it were available at drugstores.

Juliette Binoche, plays a woman who is the sole survivor of a car crash that claims the life of her husband and child. Her husband was a famous composer with, as we s-l-o-w-l-y find out, a few secrets. Throughout the rest of this torturous experience, her character sits or wanders around aimlessly for what seems like days off my life.  The secrets when they are revealed turn out to be common and not at all interesting or compelling.

My friend, sensing I’m not enjoying the movie perhaps because of my intensely loud sighing and statement that there’s nothing happening, says that maybe the reason I’m not enjoying the movie is because I haven’t experienced loss like the character in the movie. I point out that a commonality with the characters has nothing to do with whether someone likes a movie or not. I’ve never been injected into someone’s dream and had to plant an idea in their mind but I loved “Inception.” She then makes the argument that this is “artistic” filmmaking and that’s why I don’t like it. The underlying meaning being that I’m an idiotic American that couldn’t possibly understand anything artistic. Yes, that’s it. Except for the fact that I like any number of films that could be called artistic, slow, or odd: “The Painted Veil,” “Dancer in the Dark,” and “Donnie Darko” to name a handful.

The reason I’m not enjoying the movie is plain and simple–the movie sucks. Don’t take a bite out of this one unless you need the sleep.

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